Our ethical limits

Last updated: 29 September 2026

This English version is provided for convenience. In case of any difference, the French version prevails.

Letters We Owe helps people write difficult letters. Because these letters touch on what is most intimate to us, we have set clear limits on what we do, and on what we don't do. This page is not a legal text hidden at the bottom of the site. It is part of who we are.

What we help you write

We help you say what is true, and hard to say on your own:

To a parent, what you never managed to tell them.
To someone still here whom you no longer tell anything, that they matter to you.
To a child, what you want them to know one day.
To a friend, what you have never put into words.
To someone you have lost, when you don't know what to say but need to say it.
To yourself, for later.

In every case, we look for your right words: the ones that sound like you at your best, not like a machine. We never put words in your mouth that aren't yours.

What we don't do

There are situations where a letter is not the right answer, or where helping would mean doing harm. In those cases, we stop and point you towards people for whom this truly is their job.

We do not support:

Situations of violence: when a letter could be used to reach, control or track down a person in a context of violence.
Harassment: writing to someone who has asked not to be contacted any more.
Distress that goes beyond writing: when a person is thinking of ending their life. A letter is no substitute for being listened to. At that moment, you need to talk to someone.
Situations where a child is in danger.
Manipulation, threats or blackmail: writing to make someone feel guilty, to intimidate them, or to "win back" someone who is drifting away.

This refusal is never a judgement about you. It is a limit we set for ourselves, because there are moments when the right help is not a text, but a real person on the other end of the line.

If you are going through an emergency

If you, or someone around you, are in one of these situations, here are free phone numbers in France where people are there to listen and help. At this moment, they are more useful than any letter.

Violence against women: 3919 Free and anonymous. Listening and guidance, every day.
Suicide prevention: 3114 Free and confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you are thinking of dying, or if you are worried about someone, call.
Children in danger: 119 Free, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. For a child in danger, or if you are a child who needs help.
SOS Amitié: 09 72 39 40 50 Someone to listen, day and night, when you just need to talk to someone.

In immediate danger, call 15 (SAMU, emergency medical service) or 112 (European emergency number).

Your words remain yours

What you write here belongs to you. We do not sell it, we never use it to train an artificial intelligence, and we delete it on simple request. The details are in our Privacy Policy.